Metamorphosis

Recently Sher asked the question: Do you feel attractive? I'm not embarrassed to say that most of the time, I do. I will add the caveat that this is a fairly new phenomenon with me, slowly coming into frame since I met D. about 15 years ago. He has whittled down the self-loathing of my physical appearance so much that now it's almost (dare I say it?) self-esteem. Even in the face of infertility, my nemesis for the past 5 years, when I look in the mirror more often than not, I think - Damn! Not bad for a 41 year-old. Sure, I wish my nose were smaller and my boobs were bigger, I'm no narcissist, but overall I am happy with my looks. I still have a long ways to go about feeling good on the inside, but hey, it's a start. I was blessed with a small frame and a fast metabolism, relatively clear skin and proportioned features. I believe most people think I am attractive because I remind them of someone else, sort of a generic look (in a good way).

I know a lot of people have a thing about anonymity on the web, but I really don't have this issue. D. and I have a website where we post pictures of ourselves so our family and friends can keep up with our lives, and both he and I are members of online communities using our real names. The only person I really wouldn't want to find this blog is my Mother, and she doesn't even have a computer or even know what a blog is, so I think I'm safe.

I prefaced with all that because I am going to post a series of pictures of myself showing the metamorphosis from a caterpillar to the butterfly I am today. (I'm trying real hard here to be upbeat, I wanted some lightness on my blog after all the heaviness lately.) [Photos and captions removed.]