Overwhelmed

You are correct, I am over thinking this. And yet, I can't stop. Today I am overwhelmed and feel like I have nothing to give to anyone.

I took on a second client this week, working for a good friend that I've worked with and for before. Easy work, some of it from home, good money. Even when you add together the time for both clients, it still doesn't equal a full-time job. And yet, I wonder if I've bitten off more than I can chew.

Last night I was at the hairdresser for my once-every-five-week attempt to keep the gray at bay. I've been seeing the same stylist for a long time and we chat easily. She also struggled with IF and was never successful, so I feel her to be a kindred spirit of sorts. Usually the salon is a haven for me, but last night it was filled with children and babies. Ugh. How dare they invade my inner sanctum. I told my stylist about D.'s son resurfacing, she was happy for us, as is everyone. As I sat there surrounded by the sounds of children and adults interacting with them, I could feel myself sinking. I couldn't hear anything after a while, the voice in my head was so loud.

"You are never going to have a child," it said.

Fuck. I need a drink.

It's five o'clock somewhere.