Stop Making Sense
I apologize upfront for this post, it will most likely be a lot of rambling and disjointed-ness.
I've asked my brain for some assistance in sorting out the reality that my husband's child will soon be 24. Wait, back up! "My husband's son" doesn't make sense, because any son of his would be a son of mine. No? OK, never mind.
I started thinking maybe in the grand scheme of things it was probably a good thing that we didn't have a baby, since that would have happened in the last couple of years, because how weird would that have been to have a child and a grandchild around the same age? Oh, wait. My Dad has a son and a grandson almost exactly the same age, and two grandchildren younger than his son. Crap.
My maternal grandmother had her first child at 20 and her last (her 9th) at 41. It would have been quite possible for her eldest daughter (my mother) to have been pregnant at the same time as her mother; thankfully this didn't happen, although there is only 7 years between my youngest uncle and my brothers.
My parents had their first children (twins) when they were 24, and their last child (me) when they were 31. Their first grandchild was born when they were 44, their last grandchild when they were 64. In between there, at 57 my Dad had a baby with his girlfriend, which completely throws off the entire timeline.
D's brother and sister both had their first child at 28, and D's brother became a grandfather at 49. D had his son at 24 and became a grandfather at 46.
So why am I so confused and conflicted by the thought of having a 24 year-old step-son? D's sister is 14 years older than me and has two children in their 20's, and D's brother is 11 years older than me and has a daughter in her early 20's and a granddaughter in single digits. But, my sister is only 15 months older than me and has a 15 year-old, an 11 year-old and an 8 year-old.
To add to the mix, I would have a 22 year-old son or daughter of my own had I not terminated my pregnancy back in 1984.
So, simutaneously it seems that I am way too young AND exactly the right age to have a son (step or otherwise) in his mid-20s. I've been told so many times that it was normal and even relatively easy to have a baby after 35 or 40, my view of the world is skewed. Go figure.
Norah Jones -- Crazy (Live) -- Mp3
posted by Donna @ 8:38 PM
8 Comments:
Just remember, you look gorgeous!
My sister has a step son who is her age and she has three grandchildren!!! I just cannot imagine that but it is true.
CRAZY indeed!
I hope to see you soon!
That was a fun ramble. I like all your begats.
My father's mother was a grandmother at 38 - 17 when she had my dad, he 21 when they had me. I think often how much I want to have a child and I am currently 5 years beyond the age my grandmother became a grandmother. By the time she was 43, she had 4 grandchildren from her 2 children.
I often think, too, of the baby my sister was forced by our mother to terminate in 1983. He'd be 23 this year. And she is saddled with an 11 yo and SIF instead.
You're right. It boggles the mind.
You have a great attitude, Donna. I like to think I'd roll with the punches (some mean left hooks you've taken) as well as you do... can't imagine I would.
I also like the sound of that sandwich... and the new step-son! Would that my step-daughter were such a pleasant surprise. Sigh.
It seems like something to laugh at in the IF world, but we actually have very long reproductive lives. None of this is strange. My husband is the same age as my aunt. She is thinking about adopting again. It all gives me hope actually.
You are over-thinking it, my dear! Too much excitment for you haha.
You are just the perfect age! I'm glad to hear that the reunion was so successful, and that D's son has grown to be a good man.
I truly DO believe that you can love someone you've just met!
Cheers to new beginnings!
It was 1984 for me too - almost walked out of the clinic, almost, almost... it's haunting.
The age thing - who cares about everyone else - I only care about you and what you want and I want like hell for you to have it.
When I am 41, my step-daughter will also be 24.
Just like you, I married a gorgeous older man (older men? They are the answer to every woman's prayers, I swear to God) who had kids from his previous marriage (I might add that my gorgeous older man is teh exact same age as my stepfather and stepmother, but that's verging on the squicky parts, yes?)
Now, I love these kids mightily. They're great fun-not sure when your stepkids entered the picture (I could figure that out, but I'm a few glasses down on the chardonnay) but it's a fun roller coaster, but definitely a roller coaster.
Sometimes I think (as someone who is also infertile) that the hardest part of being a step-parent will be when they have kids, as being a step-grandparent will both hurt masses and feel beautiful.
But then the nostalgia disappears and I realize-the worst part will be when they get married, if I meet up with my older man's ex-wife and I'm bloated. That might be the worst part.
Your attitude is fantastic, by the way. Honest.
Post a Comment
<< Home