Holiday Shopping & Baking

I'll start with the baking. I am not a good cook, and I would never, ever, consider myself to be a baker, but I do love to mix things together in a bowl and end up with something yummy. This is a delightful combination of my favorite and D's favorites: Pecan Pumpkin Pie. What could be better?


The fine people at Continental Mills bring you this scrumptuous blend of the best of the Thanksgiving flavors. The recipe is on the box, or you can find it here if you want to see how breathtakingly easy it is.

Recently Ollie was lamenting the approaching gift-buying season. As my early gift to you I've come up with a few ideas.

1. Fertility Spells. Most of them are relatively easy, although one involves turning a watermelon into a candle with 7 pennies buried inside that I don't understand. Here's one that doesn't require any props:

PREGNANCY SPELL

(Repeat to the east, west, north and south.)

"To you my child, my body is open.

To you my child, my mind is open.

To you my child, my heart is open.

By Earth, Fire, Wind, and Sea,

Into my arms you will be."

(Last two lines are said while looking at your cradled arms).

The best part is, they're all free! But you can make a donation if you wish to Khakani. [I wonder how much money he/she makes from this site?]

2. Fertility Jewelry. There is a wide variety of bling available to help you with whatever ails you in this department. Here are a couple of my personal favorites.

Silver sperm nuzzling into rose quartz eggs, how proud would you be to have these beauties dangling from your ear lobes?






This is a cycle tracking bracelet. Just move the colored beads around to match your cycle (which is the same every month, natch), so you can have the metaphysical powers of the various stones aid you during the different phases. Ovulation Day is marked by the silver bead. What could be easier?



The two lovely items above are available at La Belle Dame, which breathlessly boasts its products are currently featured in Conceive Magazine! Well then, they must work.

Here's a couple pieces for those of you with tastes that run a little more unconventional.


This is a reproduction of a Roman phallus, in 14k gold no less, "a symbol of the God Mutunus". Holy crap, that made me laugh.out.loud. The site also says "the backside of pendant shows testicles and phallus veins." Um...ewww.























Sorry about the graininess but I had to enlarge the picture enough so you could see that, yes, this is a silver ring of a lady and her man doin' it doggy style. A conversation-starter for sure.

The above two items can be found at Capricorn's Lair.

I suppose in a weird way this could be construed as fertility jewelry...for those times when you are giving your cervix a break and REALLY mean it:


















As far as chastity belts go, I think this is the loveliest I've ever seen. Not that I'm an expert or anything. The fine folks at the Lilith Gallery put together this article with links to places where you can purchase all manner of stuff for your naughty bits.

3. Purses, bags and pillows. This is the piece de resistance folks.



These next few pictures are from the Velvet Vulva collection. Who doesn't want to show their pussy to the world?














This one comes with a multi-faceted clitoris. I had no idea this was even possible.






















Here's one of the pillows. I'd love to say something witty here but I'm just stunned.










There's a lot more variety than I can show you here, including a hat (?). Be warned, if you visit The Velvet Vulva be prepared: inexplicably, a really terrible Musak version of "Whiter Shade of Pale" plays over and over. ~shudder~

What's that you say? Not all of the people on your gift list are infertile or even female? Oh well then, a gift card is always the answer. Happy shopping.