Words to Live By

Happily married. 41. Infertile/perimenopausal. TV and iPod addict. Transplanted Canadian living in California. {Warning - abundant sarcasm and frequent *gasp* profanity lie herein.}

Monday, February 06, 2006


This has been a busy weekend, but a great one.

Friday I had the privilege of meeting up with Manuela and Statia, as well as non-blogger Amber, who I met at the Bay Area IF Blogapalooza a while back. Manuela's Mr. Pink Line was also there, what a cute couple they are! He was very gracious and interested in our conversation and just a really cool guy. Manuela is every bit as fabulous as you would think she would be; so gregarious and smart, just the right mix of tough and sweet. Statia is so self-aware and confident and direct, she scares me just a little bit. In a good way. If I had my shit that together 10 years ago just think what I could have accomplished. Watch out for Statia, she's headed for big things. Amber is sophisticated and whip-smart, quiet yet strong. Sort of like a latte with a tequila chaser.

Speaking of alcohol, it flowed freely...cable cars, lemon drops, amaretto sours, scotch -- and that was without Amber (she's 15 weeks and looked amazing in a leather skirt and Italian stilettos).

We met here...

...then headed up to the 21st floor and talked for hours.

Yesterday we went to see Cirque du Soleil's latest touring show, Corteo. If you've never seen one of their shows, you MUST go. I've seen almost all of them; we try to go every year when they are in town. Synopsis from the Cirque website: "Corteo, which means "cortege" in Italian, is a festive parade imagined by a clown. The clown pictures his own funeral taking place in a carnival atmosphere, watched over by quietly caring angels. Juxtaposing the large with the small, the ridiculous with the tragic and the magic of perfection with the charm of imperfection, the show highlights the strength and fragility of the clown, as well as his wisdom and kindness, to illustrate the portion of humanity that is within each of us. The music, by turns lyrical and playful, carries Corteo through a timeless celebration in which illusion teases reality." The only word I can come up with is magical. Usually it is the acts that amaze me, but this time it was the back-story of the clown and the angels that enthralled me.

One of my favorite parts was when the clown brought out his tiny lady friend, Valentina (a full-grown woman who had to have been less than 3 feet tall). She was riding in a little contraption attached to huge balloons. He gently guided her over the audience and people pushed on her feet as she glided down to them, sending her around the tent.

These pictures don't begin to do the show justice, you have to see it for yourself. My step-son C. ended up joining us, which was an added bonus. Last night my jaw hurt from smiling for hours.

I really am lucky to have all that I do. I've found that learning to be happy is a process, a skill, like learning to do anything else. I'm wary and distrustful of happiness, a part of me is sure it will be taken away at any moment, like it has so many times before. But I am making progress.

I'm about to start reading Lucky by Alice Sebold, her memoir about being raped. I had a hard time with The Lovely Bones, Sebold's novel about a little girl who is murdered and then narrates the story looking down upon the family she left behind. I'm more than a little anxious about reading this book but I think it will be good for me. My own rape is tied to my separate history of sexual abuse, and is something I know I haven't dealt with fully. I feel like I am ready to at least peel back that page a little bit, even if it is someone else's story. You have to start somewhere.


At 3:44 PM, Anonymous Manuela said...

Adore Cirque du Soleil... or as Mr. Pinkline and I call it... Cirque du Poulet... (It was an old Simpson's episode... it stuck.)

As I mentioned over on my blog... I had a BLAST meeting all of you... and Donna as I've already said about a dozen times... you are HOT! If you weren't so damn nice I'd have to hate you. Those slender thighs of yours??? BAH! Grounds for instant despisal!

At 8:43 PM, Anonymous statia said...

Dude, we were hot, and I'm sure they were all staring at us. We're bitter, hormonal infertiles. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

And seriously? Self aware? Maybe I'm so self aware that I'm totally clueless to everything else.

We have to get together again soon.

At 7:36 AM, Blogger Mellie said...

Donna - I'm glad you're finding much in your life to be happy about and I so hope that continues. I think you're quite brave for taking on reading LUCKY. I'm afraid of it and I have no personal connection at all.

At 11:45 AM, Blogger Pamplemousse said...

That is the CdeS show we saw in Toronto last year. Mr P had to keep passing me hankies cos I kept crying at the beauty of it all.

I am jealous of all the blogger meetups but seriously...a pregnant non-blogger was there too? Who let her in??? I feel churlish and jealous now. I will never get to see your skinny thighs or M's fab shoes! Bah!!!

Sebold's novel manages to bring a note of grace and beauty to the most horrific of subjects. I put off reading anything of hers due to the subject matter as I thought it would be crass or grisly. Her books are neither and I feel she brings a personal poignacy and sensitivity to the most delicate of subject matters.

I would say enjoy but I am sure it will raise issues with you, regardless of how lyrical the writing. I hope it does not upset you too much but I feel sure you can overcome those feelings and work through them as you have done so many other times.

At 7:22 PM, Blogger Sue said...

Hi, Donna! It sounds like you had a great time at the Cirque. What fun! I like your theory about happiness being a skill. Tough one, for sure. As for The Lovely Bones, I found it very haunting and sad. Well written, though.

At 10:00 PM, Anonymous Ramona said...

I also love the CduS shows, they are so imaginative that it is surreal.
I hesitated reading The Lovely Bones, but when I finally did, it was one of those books that I couldn't put down, and I think I read it in a day. I'll be curious to know what you think about Lucky.
I noticed in this entry, how happy you sound! I'm really glad. And, I'm really glad that your step-son joined you!
Oh! One more thing...I've often wondered what it would be like to meet blogfriends in real life, I think that is so cool.

At 7:50 PM, Blogger Bird said...

Cool pictures. My hubby teases me for liking Cirque du Soleil but I just can't help it and they just don't get it.

Thanks for your comments on the blog and feel free to use whatever you want. I have a question for you. You said you lost a child long ago. I was wondering how long ago and how you are doing now. I still hurt so much sometimes but it feels like I should be "over it."

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