I'll Add it to the List
There are so many things about infertility that are difficult, heart-breaking, disappointing and frustrating, but today I want to talk about a specific, at least for me.
Our best friends have a 3 1/2 year-old son, who was conceived after 4 rounds of IVF with ICSI. On the last (successful) attempt, they had just the one egg make it through fertilization and re-implantation. He's a miracle baby, perfect in every way. I love him dearly, and he loves me, he's told me so many times.
Yesterday we spent the day with them. By the end of the day I was so sad...not because of anything that happened, but just because I had this overwhelming feeling that I would never know the joy of being a mother. Every time I felt his little hand in mine or watched my husband tickle him and laugh along him, my heart ached. I don't feel jealousy at their success, just sad for my own lack thereof.
posted by Donna @ 4:49 PM
2 Comments:
I hear ya, sister! It can be so rough to see how happy those perfect little families are. As happy as you are for them, its just a reminder.
He sure sounds like an adorable little kid, though. :)
I always feel kind of guilty when I have these little sadness bursts, but I think they're perfectly normal for those of us who live with infertility. It's not a comment on how we feel about our friends, or that we're not happy for them (especially your friends, given their struggle), but it's hard. It's just hard. Thinking about you.
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