Anonymity
I've been thinking a lot the past few weeks about the idea of anonymity in Bloglandia, particularly for IF bloggers. I see a lot of different flavors of it. There are those that use pseudonyms, never post pictures, don't reveal where they live and generally do everything possible to obscure their true identity. There are those that use a pseudonym but have posted pictures of themselves. And there are those (like me) that use their real name, post pictures and reveal at least their general location.
We all know the story of Dooce and how she got fired for blogging, even though she wasn't blogging directly about her employer. [If I got that wrong, let me know, as this was before I entered the blogosphere.] Most blogs, but especially IF blogs, are highly personal and contain information that we would not disclose to anyone, save perhaps our closest friends in real life. So, I completely understand why some wish to remain anonymous.
My question is this: if someone you knew from any segment of your life were to stumble across your blog, wouldn't they be able to recognize you? Perhaps not if noone in your life knew of your IF struggles, but invariably some other little snippet of information gets included that might give you away. Like, we just got back from vacation, or DH's mother was here for a visit, or my niece just had a baby.
Granted, I have not been the victim of many trolls, and noone that I did not want to read my blog has found it (that I know of, anyway), so I am sure I would feel differently if I had been hurt profoundly by being "outed".
I don't want to be misconstrued here. I fully and completely support anyone's decision to remain anonymous, and I would never EVER betray someone's trust by providing information to a third party regarding their blog. I suppose I just don't understand how you plan on remaining anonymous indefinitely when you've made your blog public. Although many, many topics I discuss on my blog aren't suitable for public conversations, I am not ashamed of anything I've ever written.
I suppose its too late for me to decide to be anonymous at this point, and maybe I'm being naive. I am interested in different opinions about this. Please tell me why you have chosen to be out or in.
posted by Donna @ 12:38 PM
21 Comments:
I sometimes wish I had remained completely anonymous as friends at work read my blog and the gossipy staff I've wrote about could possibly read it. That would cause a lot of problems for me. Also I sometimes hold back on certain subjects.
On the other hand I like bloggers knowing my name, it feels more friendly.
For me, blogging isn't a matter of friendliness. Far from it. Blogging is an outlet for the emotions I have day to day. I say what I have to get off my chest. Being anon gives me the ability to discuss whatever I want. It has to be that way, I have an abiding 'true to self' requirement. I don't want to merely present half my story; I want to remember all that surrounded a decicion/happening to be able to put myself back in my own shoes if I desire. Of course, I have fear of being discovered - I know so many people, always taking leadership roles in organizations and having lived in a couple states. I vascilate between wanting readers (some of whom might benefit from my story) and wanting to be off all blogrolls. Although most people I know have an inkling of the pain I have concerning IF, none would know how closely I associate with the IF community, b/c "Hey! She has a kid; she should be statisfied!" I still feel the loss of more, strikingly so. Blogging is a healthy outlet for me.
I always figured it was unlikely anyone I know would stumble across and read enough of my blog to recognize me unless they were going through something similar. In which case, I'd be happy for them to read what I've written. I use a pseudonym because I am easily Google-able and don't want to mix my professional life with this part of my real life. I don't think more than one or two people from work would recognize me from my blog.
I try to remain fairly anonymous, mainly because I'm a wuss. I don't even put my dogs' names in there because someone might piece it together. I think that the thing with me is I sometimes write about things that would hurt the feelings of people I know, like my recent post about my BIL. That would really ruffle feathers in the family, and if I had already come out, I wouldnt' feel that I could say things like that...
Personally, I feel that it is pretty transparent who I am. I don't have many posts, but I think someone from my life would see the "me" in it. But the reality is, they probably know me less than I think they do. My DH would know it was me, because I share most of these thoughts with him as well.
I've often thought the same thing in my attempts to be 'anonymous' - definitely, there is enough detail that anyone who met me in 'real' life could probably figure out that 'coloraturadreams' is me... I've gone past the anonymous stage if you look at it that way.
There are have a few lurkers who seriously checked out my clog that were in my local area. I have often wondered if they were people I know who found my blog and put 2 and 2 together... but it doesn't seem to happen very often. And I'm a bit of a risk taker, so I think I'm okay with it for now. But I actually think about it quite a bit, wondering how that would all work if someone I know accidentally found it. Particularly if it was someone ab out whom I hadn't written pleasant things...
I've actually considered:
1/ shutting down CD and starting over completely anonymous;
2/ going back and deleting every personal reference, or 'coding' those references
3/ going 180 and completely revealing myself.
For now, I continue to play Russian roulette and with the number of blogs out there, I think my chances of being accidentally outted are still fairly slim. I hope. Gulp.
one other thing: the choice of anonymity is also a freedom thing for me. my blog is my outlet and I like having a place where I can just tell it like it is, good or bad. I don't have to 'be good', I can be narcissistic, dumb, silly, sad, happy, whatever... it's basically cheap therapy for me, to a great extent.
I've been on both ends of the spectrum and then some. I started blogging, and there are few things that I won't talk about. One of them being work, and that was before I'd ever heard of Dooce. Then I chose I pseudonym, then I went passworded and finally I just said "fuck it" and went back to my original self. I figure if anyone in real life stumbles across my blog, they know what's going on, then so be it. I've taken as many cautions as I can to prevent being googled, but they're not fool proof. If they find me, they find me. I don't have anything to hide.
But I can certainly understand why people go anonymous.
I'm not really anonymous, but I do try to be careful about revealing some things about my life. I guess I just naive to think that noone I know would ever run across my blog.
I'm out.
I have friends who read my blog, and I told them about it myself. Mostly, because these are friends who I don't see often, and live in other cities or countries. It is a way for them to know what is going on in my life, and just another way of keeping our connection.
I don't often write about work, although, on occasion, like now, I do blog from work. It is a community computer, so I always make sure that I delete the history from the address bar.
Since I plaster pics of myself, my pets, etc I guess I could be completely outted, and of course, there have been certain things I've written about that I wouldn't neccesarily want certain people to know.
The reason I chose my alias is because my family or people I know IRL would most likely never do a Google search for that. They'd search my real name and then I'd be outed. I just don't like the idea of Mom or Dad reading about my sex life or worse, reading about how much pain I'm in, and then they'd feel helpless. Most people I know, already know about my miscarriages and struggles, but don't really know the extent. I simply prefer to maintain a Level II anonymity.
Good question. Like Ollie, I don't think anyone I know IRL would take the time to sniff me out of all the IF blogs. Mostly though, I like using a pseudonym because it helps me be more honest with myself. Sometimes what I let out on my blog is so sad, so self involved, just so damn unattractive that it would be hard to sign my real name after it. Since I started blogging with the intention of letting all that ugliness out, I think using a pseudonym is helpful. It's not primarily about being anonymous.
Thanks for the inspiration. I blogged it, and actually took a post down.
The essence (so it doesn't seem I'm pimping myself out, because we all know That Appearances Matter :)) - I don't write anything I wouldn't put my name to if asked. I remain partially anonymous for some security reasons, but that's about it.
Even though I agree with Cricket that blogging isn't a matter of friendliness, you should be prepared and able to stand up for anything you write in your blog. Its your thoughts, yes; its also your responsibility.
It's a tricky one. I'm anonymous for two reasons. Firstly I have written stuff and been published and can be looked up on Google. Second my partner is in a tricky family situation and doesn't want that disseminated far and wide, at least not in his own name. I do come clean with anyone I get to know better through blogging, but in general prefer to retain a degree of privacy otherwise. Hope that all makes sense....am not about to change it anyway. Cheers.
I actually never thought about it much when I started blogging and I may have changed my screen name....I thought I would blog about my next IVF, be pregnant and all this infertility stuff would be a distant memory. ohhhhh...hahahaha
I have since gone through stages of using my blog as a personal journal that I try to mull things through and thus I reveal more about other life crap and people that I shouldn't talk about so I am bound to get busted...had a dream of being fired actually.
First of all, I hope that so many infertility blogs are a source of information for other people going through the same thing.....that is one thing that I try to be very honest and raw about, all of my treatments. Even down to naming clinics....why should I protect them if I had a shitty experience (STANFORD).
My former email sent everyone my real name every time I corresponded so enough people already knew my last name so it was kind of , well, what the hell.
I used to invest in the stock market a great deal (2000) and some of the shareholders would get together of various companies.....I was amazed at the majority of people who continued to go by their screen names, even though we had personal contact. My husband is that way though.....very, very private.
Great discussion!
Some of us have outie belly buttons, some innie's.
I'm an innie. I'm reserved by nature. But when it comes to blogging, I can't believe I'm doing it at all let alone anonymously.
When I was in the 9th grade I was going through a tough time and I journaled about it all of the time. One day I left my journal notebook in a biology classroom drawer. Three jocks took it and tried to hold it for randsom leaving a note - you can imagine what they probably would have asked me to do for it at the meeting they demanded. I took the randsom note they left in my notebook's place straight to the principal. I think they should have been hung up by their balls, or suspended, but instead they got detention and had to do extra laps before and after football practice. I was completely exposed and to horrible assholes.
I'm always afraid of revealing too much as a consequence. I posted puppy picture and that even worried me. There are some feelings that you just can never shake I guess.
I admire people who put it all out there like you. But I could never do it. Plus you're gorgeous - it's easy for you to post your picture!
I guess I'm somewhat annonymous, except for the fact that several of my family and friends have my blog URL and can read every little thing. I get a little embarrassed thinking of my father-in-law reading some of this personal stuff, but hey, he can choose to tune out.
There is a way for industrious, tech-savvy people to figure out who I am. That's the chance I take. I do try hard to keep my family annonymous. I also choose not to blog about work stuff, because my manager has the URL (BIG mistake) and I don't want to risk repercussions.
I like being able to let it all hang out, and not having to update a dozen people on the latest news-- especially when it's bad.
People would definitely be able to recognize me, which is why I don't put anything in my blog I wouldn't want to see printed in a newspaper. Well, except for my evil SIL. I have debated going password protected, but I like interacting with a wide range of people. I've also debated having a blog that is more "family" friendly that I can give to my sister and other close friends.
As an aside, someone from my husband's work reads my blog. I think I know who it is (and she's one of us) but I try not to embarrass him because of it. Which really, takes away some of my fun. I'm pretty sure she knows it's us.
Take care.
If someone really wanted to find me, they could do it pretty easily.
What I try to avoid is the casual acquaintance finding my blog - if someone were to run across an entry or two it wouldn't scream my identity right off the bat.
AndI don't want to make it too easy for some malcontent to find me. But the more I carry on, the more I realize, no that many people are interested in a 41 year old recurrent miscarrier.
My thanks go out to all of you that left such thoughtful replies.
I have posted photos of myself, as well as my husband's and my first names and general location - So I'm definitely not anonymous. That being said, I don't generally share my blog's URL with people I know in real life. I don't want to feel like I'm being "monitored" by people I actually know, and I don't relish the thought of people at work knowing such personal things about me.
It wouldn't be too hard to figure out it's me if someone stumbled across my blog. I don't put identifying things in my blog just to make sure I don't make it easy for someone to do a random search and find me. But alas, anyone who would find me could care less because they're all too busy with babies and after reading an entry or two of chewing someone out who pissed me off, know full well I'd say it all to their face so they don't dare let me know if they have discovered my blog.
Emily
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