Drug Store Angst
Sometimes its the little things...I was in the drug store picking up a prescription today and on every aisle, my eyes were being drawn to baby and TTC-related stuff. Oh, there are the OPKs, and the FM sticks and thermometers. Over here is diaper cream and children's Tylenol and those little rubber thingies that you use to get snot out of your kid's nose. *sigh* Some days these things exist without calling attention to themselves, and some days they are vivid and seem to throw little tentacles out to trip me.
Last weekend on our walk with the dogs we passed a huge number of families and Moms with strollers out for their own walks. At least once or twice (as usual) I made eye contact with a Mom with a small child and we exchanged looks of envy. She for my dogs, me for her baby. One of those voices I have in my head wants to say, "Hey, wanna switch?", but I manage to stifle her. Its never going to be 100% OK, is it?
posted by Donna @ 4:17 PM
6 Comments:
I don't know for sure that it will ever be, Donna, but maybe close. It will always be a sore little scab, a tender spot. And probably, like most wounds, we won't be able to keep from poking it a little just to feel that it's there. I know I'm that way because I fear forgetting as much as the pain.
I think the ups and the downs are completely normal. I don't know that you ever get over them. It's so hard sometimes.
I just still hope that somehow you and your husband can find a way... I am wishing and hoping for you.
I get the same pangs in Target or Mervyn's, every time I go by all those darling baby clothes...
I wish I could tell you that it will go away, and that it will never hurt again, but I can't. I don't know if it will ever go away completely.
But I hope you find some semblance of peace over time.
Thinking of you.
Well, clearly, I don't think it will ever go away.
Maybe for some people it does. I just don't think I am one of those people. The last couple of days I've realized I might as well accept it, rather than try to fight it.
I don't know. I'm still actively opening my wound so can't say. I would be surprised if something so painful ever completely went away, but hopefully there will be a way to live with it.
Post a Comment
<< Home